Reflections

New Year's Eve has arrived and it is during this time we often reflect on what has happened and set our hopes for the future.

As I look back, it has been a difficult year in our family. We lost my mother to ovarian cancer around Valentine's Day, we lost my father-in-law to heart disease around Halloween, and I had the worst MS relapse ever just before Thanksgiving. With all these challenges I kept asking the question, "What am I to learn from all this?". Sometimes the answers were quick and obvious, other times not so much. The problem was even with what I thought the answers were, these events still left us rattled and emotionally drained.

After Thanksgiving is when we typically deck the halls in our house. Christmas is everywhere and it always put a smile on all our faces. With the recent loss, and my just starting the recovery process from my relapse, I just did not have the energy or the desire to decorate. I did manage to bring down a tree from the attic, but it stood in the corner with only it's lights and a couple random ornaments we had received as gifts. I lit it a couple times, but it still did not bring the warmth and happiness it usually did.

Since we had experienced so much drama over the last few weeks, we had decided this year to not celebrate Christmas in the traditional commercial sense of the word. Since we did not decorate, buy presents, send Christmas cards or host a get together; we were going to let Christmas come and go and slip quietly into the night. After a number of conversations, we decided instead of hunkering down and pretending Christmas was not occurring, we would escape to the beach. We got up early Christmas morning and with our car packed, we made our way to a new tradition. The drive took our mind off the normal trappings of Christmas. We did not miss opening presents under the tree, we did not have to plan a big meal that would take hours to prepare, but be consumed in minutes, and we did not sit around reminiscing about Christmas' past. Instead we listened to carols on the radio and found traffic to be very light as we made our way to the beach.

The beach provided a nice respite from the hustle and bustle of the season. We enjoyed everyone's decorations, we had breakfast at the Waffle House and found Christmas cheer in those who were working that day, and went on an adventure to find where in the world we were going to eat dinner. Later, as we walked the beach, we enjoyed the warm spray of the sea and playing with our dog as he chased his favorite toy. Christmas this year was new and different. We left our escape on Sunday and patted ourselves on the back for finding a nice alternative to our traditional celebration.

Once we got home that evening, neither of us felt like cooking, so I ordered a large cheese pizza from our local pizzeria. I arrived a few moments early and started looking over the magazines in the lobby. We have a local paper called, The Crossroads Journal. When I opened it and started reading, I was struck by one of the lead articles about a Christmas tree and a person named Stubby. Stubby is not a name you hear often, and it carries special meaning to me as it was my father's nickname. My Dad was 5'5" and a little stout, so the name fit. The other interesting note about my Dad is every Christmas, while he worked at the Toy Castle, he played Santa Claus. As I quickly glanced at the article, I was told our pizza was ready and I quickly put the paper down. Despite the quick read, it had stirred fond memories I had forgotten.

One those years my Dad was playing the jolly old elf, he had received a visit Jack Wyrtzen and Harry Ballback. Jack was very involved in The Word of Life Ministries in NY, and Harry was a missionary to Brazil. They both approached my Dad about going to Church. Jack would later share that story as part of his own ministry. Reading the name Stubby again in a place so far from where Jack's story to place, took away the emptiness of this Christmas and filled it with a warm nostalgic memory of Christmas past. I left the pizzeria a little lighter and more at peace than I had felt in weeks.

My hope then is for everyone to have a wonderful New Year and each of to find that same warm feeling from memories past. When you do, hold on to it and let it fill you with happiness in a time where happiness can be in short supply.

Although I am now Presbyterian and no longer hold to the particular religious view of my Dad's story, it is still a wonderful story of hope. Below is the story as it was printed in the Word of Life publication.

The toy store was packed with bright toys for Christmas, but one of the biggest thrills was a telephone connected directly to Santa Claus at the North Pole. The kiddies were making the most of it; but in a pause when they were busy elsewhere, Don Robertson couldn't resist the urge. Don is a Word of Life evangelist with children of his own. He picked up the phone.
"Hey, Santa," he said, "We're having evangelistic meetings at the Town Hall her in Claremont, Hew Hampshire, every night this week. How about coming tonight?"

Santa replied with a hearty "Ho-ho-ho!" and a cheerful "Maybe!" and added that he thought he would have to be on the job every night in the Christmas rush. So Don and his buddy Harry Ballback, Word of Life missionary to Brazil, prayed that night for Santa Claus.

At the first meeting of the Campaign on of those who received Christ as their Savior was an attractive young housewife. Don and Harry called at her home the next morning to encourage her in her new found faith, and met her husband, jovial, plump Winston Matthews. When they invited him to the meetings, he roared with laughter. "I know all about those meetings fellows," he said; "you see, I'm Santa Claus!"

Although his job kept him from attending, Santa's wife took him to church after Christmas, and there - for the first time - he really heard the gospel of salvation through Christ. He kept coming.

"One Sunday night," Matthews told it later, "I felt the Lord was speaking to my heart. I realized I was a sinner and needed Christ. When Pastor Warren Biebel gave the invitation I accepted Christ into my heart. It was the most wonderful thing in my life." And that was the night that Santa Claus got converted.

but the story doesn't end there. "I wanted others to hear the Word of God and have salvation too," continued Matthews. "I invited my brother and his wife to church, and the first time they came they accepted Christ. A week or so later my sister and her husband came to hear Larry Doyle, another Word of Life evangelist. They too opened their hearts to Christ. Then cam my co-laborer, and later one of my wife's friends, and they were saved. The following summer we all went to Word of Life Camp in New York's Adirondack Mountains.

As for me, I'm a Sunday school teacher now. My wife has a Bible club in our home and has won many boys and girls in the neighborhood to Christ. We just wish we could do more for Him, for He has done so much for us."

Santa Claus, sad to say, has become the symbol fo Christmas in pagan America. But behind the mask of the "jolly old elf" as we see him in department stores and on street corners there is the heart of a man -- unhappy, lonesome, a sinner, longing for lasting joy and peace.

And what is true of any "Santa Claus' is true of everybody: no matter how outwardly jolly or prosperous he may appear, there is a void in his heart that only Christ can fill. That is why the Lord Jesus says to you, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:29). Do you want this joy and peace? Then do as Winston Matthews did -- confess to God that you are a guilty sinner in need of forgiveness, and invite the Lord Jesus to come into your heart and take possession.

Things That Make You Go Hmmmm

I have worked for many years in print media prior to becoming a network consultant, and I still enjoy the occasional, "what were you thinking?" moments in advertising.

It is election time here in NC for local municipalities and to the right is an example of one of those moments. Personally I don't want my mayor to be roasted to a golden brown, but apparently the staff for Mr. Brown does.

Here's to hoping Mr. Brown does not become well done during his election campaign.

Cherish Yesterday - Dream Tomorrow - Live Today

This segment has been by far the hardest to write. Two months have gone by since I started this series and each time I get ready to sit and write, the words just don't seem to flow. The emotion seems weak and the passion unreachable.

In these last two months we have lost a dear member of our family. He was an honorable man who God blessed with a quick passing. He gave closure to his son and allowed me to fill a void the passing of my own father had left behind. In his passing I feel loss, but I am not sad. I know he has done what it was he had to do and he left this existence ready to face new challenges.
A chronic illness can make a person take a harsh look at their own mortality. His passing did not cause me concern over my MS, but I think the loss and the accompanying self examination these last two months has given me the ability to write this passage.

Cherish Yesterday, Dream Tomorrow, Live Today. These three simple phrases have tremendous ramifications for life. Cherish yesterday; look back with fond nostalgia, but don't get lost in those old memories. Longing to live in a previous time is unhealthy. It creates a romantic illusion of a time remembered as one so perfect. Reality is those times are never quite as good as we remember.

Dream tomorrow; which one of us has not dreamed of doing fantastic things, living a fulfilling life, being somebody. There is nothing wrong in dreaming, but as with cherishing the past, if were not careful it can become all consuming. It becomes chasing a dream with too much passion. Wanting something we want, but what may not be what we are meant to do.

Live today; the writer knew the order of this saying was important. By cherishing yesterday, but not living in the past; we learn from our mistakes and hopefully do not allow history to repeat itself. Then we take those cherished moments and build on them with dreams of the future. Those dreams reach for heights we can achieve if we just try. Lastly though, when doing all those things, do not forget to live today. To stop and enjoy all that is in front of us. We cannot cause ourselves to last any moment past our allotted time, so we must experience what we have, which is right now. So, it is this night, this moment, this emotion that gives me the courage to write.

We are all on different journeys; people cross our path and we don't know why, or we don't even notice. I am beginning to appreciate my illness for what it is. An awakening to stop and take a slower look at my life. People tell me they are praying for me to get well, and happy when they hear I am. I really do appreciate the prayers and warm wishes. The truth for me is I am not praying to cured of my MS, but to learn from it what I must learn. I truly have an opportunity to view MS as a gift. An illness that is so random, one day I can feel like crap, but the next day not so bad. All in all, not so bad in comparison to how other illnesses affect other people. Some don't get the breaks I enjoy.

Over the years I have talked a good story. I tell people the purpose of my art is to slow down, enjoy the little things, but I really don't do it myself. I would like to convince myself I do, but the closer I look, the less I think I do. So now I am taking stock of how my MS manifests itself. I am fatigued, not as physically strong or balanced, (I fall down a lot), I don't sleep well, and I am in pain a fair amount of the time. I don't mention this for pity. On the contrary, I mention it for what it has been telling me and what I need to learn. All my symptoms are a result of perhaps not taking the time to slow down and live today. I am being forced to slow down, relax, look at the world and the things around me with a different sense of urgency. One that is not quite so urgent. All my symptoms are the exact opposite of how I have lived my life. I have lived as a candle burning brightly. So, the more I look and try to cherish yesterday, or live today, the more I realize I have been stuck in the dream for tomorrow.

Don't Count the Days, Make the Days Count.

The picture to the left describes my feelings today. I am counting the day. I took this picture in Haiti because it shows two very distinct facts. One is this man has grey hair in a country where you are middle aged at 21. He also appears to be resigned to his fate, which is how I feel some days.

The title saying, "Don't count the days, make the days count", is especially poignant for myself or anyone else suffering the roller coaster ride of MS. Your symptoms can really bring on times where you count the days. Fatigue and nausea are my two biggest enemies. I have meds to reduce their impact, but they can wear on me. Today is one of those days. I get up and feel like a bus has run over me; smile, do my injection and plan the day. Today I count the hours in the day, and wait until the work day ends so I can come home and go back to sleep. I feel frustrated, but do not surrender hope. My illness has forced me to surrender my dog Boozer as I cannot give him the attention and exercise he deserves, but I take comfort in the fact I have been able to find him what appears to be a good home. While I am sad, I know the beauty of such a random illness means tomorrow has all the potential of being a day I can make count. Hope springs eternal.

Hope is a powerful tool. It enables us to rise above the fear and drudgery and reach for a goal. Some goals are simple; others are more long ranging, but in the end my hope keeps me going. Faith walks with hope and gives my hope courage and strength. Without faith, I know I could fall into feeling sorry for myself. Faith can take many forms. It does not have to be strictly a religious phenomenon, but for me it is.

My faith has taken a strange and interesting road. I started out Baptist and practice with Presbyterians, but have beliefs that also include Buddhism. I look for the pearl of wisdom in all and reject the rigidity of my younger years. I try to look at the glass half full, not half empty even on days I count.

My hope for each day is to make the day count even when I am counting it. So here is to today, may we all make the day count in our own ways. I am trying to make this day count by bringing a smile to my face and perhaps others with my buddy Boozer.

Be the Change You Wish to See in the World

The other week we were out shopping at the farmer's market. After getting our vegetables for the week we went to the nearby garden center to poke around. Inside we found the usual items, seeds, bird houses, plants, etc. Little did we know a treasure lurked inside waiting to be found. As we were getting ready to leave we came across a rack of wood signs with various musings written on them. Four of them caught our attention and this is the first of the four. The others will follow in the upcoming entries.
"Be the change you wish to see in the world", a simple saying, but also profound.

For quite some time now, change has been a mantra spoken by everyone. No one has said what kind of change they want, but we collectively know things need to change. Politicians rant about how they are going to bring about change, but realize they are one voice and need many voices to bring about real effective change. The saying, "be the change you wish to see in the world", makes it more realistic. It is a call for each of us to take personal responsibility. To be the change we want to see.

For me, the change I want to see is an end to needless hunger, poverty, abuse and a chance for all children to achieve their dreams. A lofty dream, but one I am actively trying to achieve. A dream I have seemingly failed at numerous times by not meeting my personal goals, but if I don't at least try, nothing will change. So I take comfort in knowing I am a bit player in a very large dance. One I do not see as a spectator, or as the choreographer, but as one who sees the change I am trying to be in the world.

The Best Things in Life are not Things

I have thought for several days about what to say in regards to, "The Best Things in Life are not Things", and there were so many things to choose from. A smile from a stranger, a good belly laugh, friends, a dog wagging it's tail, (sorry I am a dog person), family, a warm sunny day, etc. Today I added a new one, seeing the end of a rainbow. I must admit, I was disappointed I didn't find the fabled pot of gold, but it was still amazing. Have you ever been to the end of a rainbow? I have only spoken to a couple other people who have witnessed it. I remember as a child the stories of the Irishman at the end with his pot of gold, and always wondered if I would ever be lucky enough to see it.

I have always enjoyed seeing rainbows and as I have grown older, I wondered if they truly did touch the ground. Seeing the end was just a far away childhood dream I thought I would never experience. On this day the dream became reality. It was raining so hard the end of the rainbow did actually touch the pavement. As I saw the possibility of reaching the end, I couldn't help but burst out with in a loud voice, sweet! As I approached it, it moved a little bit in front of me for a time and then poof, it was gone. Today I not only got to see the end, but a rainbow faintly above this, one to my left and one to my right. I had never seen so many at one time and in such a small area. I just whispered a thank-you and smiled.

The end no longer became an end, or a dream fulfilled. It became more esoteric and fulfilling and leading to even more thoughts of new beginnings rather than endings. I actually took a moment to reflect on the comment, "The Best Things in Life are not Things". So many times in my life I would think about what I had or received from the traditional consumer point of view. The "things" from my family that always had a string attached. I would like to think I have matured and moved past the consumption mentality so many of us in the U.S. face. I am trying to appreciate more things that are not things to be purchased, but still can fall under the umbrella of things. I gave a short list in the paragraph above, but there are so many more if we take time to appreciate them. I don't know how many times in the course of a day I don't take the time to enjoy a simply thing. Instead I rail against the driver in front of me going to slow, fighting the clock to get work done for my clients, rushing to finish chores at home needing to be done.

Instead of rushing, I am setting a challenge to myself to try to slow down; a New Years resolution without it being January 1st. A challenge to try to look for and enjoy more of the things that are not things. It is a challenge I hope others who read this will join with me in pursuing. For me it is hard as I feel like a candle burning brightly and try to cram as much in as I can. With MS you don't know from one day to the next how your body is going to behave. My goal is to stop using my illness as an excuse to continue on this feverish pace, but to take my time and talents and slow down.

I use my photography to try and capture some of those things I see and appreciate, and I hope to continue to bring more. I also am grateful for the time spent learning about these types of things while I was in Haiti. I have begun with baby steps. Some day I hope to progress and walk as others who are patient and enjoy the world around them. I hope to enjoy the world around us for it's simple beauty and gifts, and not those to be purchased.

A Glimpse of Haiti

Sometimes words can be insufficient; hence the term a picture paints a thousand words. In this case the picture is a television show. The picture seen here is a promotional shot from the NBC series "The Philanthropist". I saw this episode and was riveted to my chair. From what we experienced in Haiti, this was the most realistic drama of Haitian life I had seen. While the story was not a documentary, it was relatively accurate. The Kreyol they spoke fit with the story line and I recognized half of it, so it wasn't jibberish. All in all, I was very impressed.

The storyline is realistic, discouraging, painful and encouraging. I was encouraged to learn the show is based on a real person. Whoever he is, I send my kudos. Here is a man with means trying to make a difference. I don't know if this episode is based on true events as there is no disclaimer, but in any event the millions of viewers who saw this story is wonderful.

I can tell you from watching it, I felt all the emotions rush back from when I was in Haiti. The sorrow for a people who just want a opportunity to succeed on their own, but a people who need everyone's help to get started. Now hopefully more will recognize the need for aid.

The food riots were real. We were there. The shortage of rice was felt by everyone. We saw the amount people got fed.
The slavery is real. It is not uncommon for a Haitian child to be sold into slavery to another Haitian. This is one of the most distressing facets of their life. The Haitians are proud of shedding their chains of slavery, but some still resort to the brutal practice with their own people. Not to mention the Haitians who are abused in the sex trade. For a documentary on the plight of these children, watch the ABC News special on How to buy a child in 10 hours. Bill Nathan from the St. Joseph's Home for Boys was interviewed for the piece.

If you have any curiosity about our motivation to help Haiti, please watch either or both of these episodes. The image link along with a link at the end of this entry will take you to the online episode from NBC. The link in the paragraph above with take you to the ABC story. Then help us help those who are looking for a hand up, and not a hand out.

NBC's The Philanthropist -- Haiti

Simply Amazing

There are times when you just need to take a break from things. This last month has sort of been mine. I am adjusting to my new drug regime to manage my MS and the changes it brings. No pity party here. I am glad I can get up and still be working. Numbers of MS patients cannot.

During my mini respite I have just been taking photos, not processing them for the website. Taking a moment to reconnect with my artistic style and enjoy the world and people around me. As a result, I came across this show on the National Geographic Channel. I love this channel. Science can be fun. It is about the giant crystal caves in Niaca Mexico. (follow this link to see the story and times it is on the National Geographic Channel.) These crystals are enormous, and growing in a caustic environment to humans. You journey with the scientists as they discover the enormity of the caves, the breathtaking sites and lastly, how dangerous such beauty can be.

One of the last portions of the show which sticks out in my mind is how precarious the life of these crystals is. They said in the documentary as the crystal's climate changes they run the risk of not only a stoppage of growth, but potential destruction. The caves were filled with water, but the water is being pumped out daily to a lake. One of the functions of the lake is to help irrigate a nearby golf course. The crystals are softer than a human fingernail and the water not only added in their growth, but help protect their fragile nature.

Watching the story helped renew a sense of wonder in the world I had begun to lose. It is easy to get wrapped up in your own day to day lives and forget to stop and take in the amazing beauty around us. I am glad I have taken a chance to begin rediscovering my own wonder and amazement. As the story concluded, I chuckled to myself and then said out loud; "No wonder God rested on the seventh day, with all the work involved in just this one beautiful site and the planning went into it, I would be tired too."

Windows 7, Coming to a PC Near You.

I am one of the few in the creative industry using a PC.I am sure there is a collective gasp occurring somewhere as I write this, but I am also a Microsoft Certified System Engineer and Gold Certified Partner. This gives me a great deal of access to Microsoft product. Well I got my release candidate this week of Windows 7, the next generation operating system from Microsoft.I was needless to say impressed.

When Vista came out I was less than enthusiastic.I had gone through the nightmare of upgrading to Vista, and having hardware not work, applications not work,etc, not so with Windows 7.The upgrade went without a hitch, the hardware was all functional and my software worked as well.The other nice thing is my test system seems to run faster and launch quicker.Then I got to looking around the interface. Everything I needed as an engineer was easily accessible.I most admit, I have enjoyed Apple’s operating system for its intuitive interface, but this version of Windows will give it a run for its money.

All is not perfect in wonderland though. For anyone who upgrades from Windows Vista Ultimate to Windows 7 Ultimate, you will find some things missing. Windows 7 will come with no extras, and the ones you had in Vista will disappear. One common sense item is Windows Mail, it was removed in the upgrade,and if I did not use Outlook I would have needed to download Windows Live Essentials. Windows Live Essentials is the online colloborative component Microsoft has been running ads about.

It includes: Live Mail, Photo Gallery, Messenger, Mail, Movie Maker and others. (http://www.windowslive.com/Desktop) This was one extra step I thought was unnecessary. Besides this, I see a number of features I enjoy. I can open Windows Explorer and a number of tasks are available from the window. I can burn CD's, add/remove programs, share documents or pictures, create slideshows and have a preview pane visible on the right side of the window. Another enjoyable feature is the good old Alt+Tab keystroke. As you Alt+Tab through your open windows, the desktop changes to show you the full screen of each window. No longer to you have to figure out what you have open and hope to pick the right one. It is easy to discern and the transistions are smooth. These minor changes to the interface result in a tremendous amount of saved time over previous releases of Windows.

Another improvement is how Windows 7 uses its graphics. In Windows Vista the Aero interface took up a lot of processor cycles and could slow a machine to a crawl. I have 2 Gig of RAM on my test machine and turned off Aero. When running Adobe Lightroom or Photoshop, the screen redraws were taking too long. Now with Windows 7 they run as if the Aero interface is not in use

Bottom line, if you are looking to purchase a new pc or laptop, wait for the release of Windows 7. It is slated to be released on October 22nd. If you have Vista, I would consider the upgrade. For all you XP users, you will have to reinstall everything as there is not direct upgrade path.

God is Alive and Well in Reidsville, NC

What a week. Anyone who has had to deal with a major health issue will be able to relate to my week in July 2009.

I had been working on this image from our trip to DC. No matter how I put it the panels together, it just didn't look right. It is a compilation of stained glass windows from our visit to the National Cathedral. It wasn't until after the events I am about to share that the image took shape and meaning.

As many of my friends and family know, I have been fighting to determine if I have MS or not over the last several years. The MS diagnosis finally came through and the Dr. prescribed a treatment plan. The bottom fell out when I went to fill the prescription. The insurance company was telling me they would only cover up to a certain amount and then after that I was on my own. The amount they would cover amounted to a 1 month supply. Then the other 11 months were my responsibility each year. This was devastating news to say the least. I did a number of frantic phone calls, started financial discussions at home, and began wondering what would happen next. I had placed a call to my insurance agent with the situation and he was pursuing options as well. At the end of the day, I went to bed anticipating a long and arduous task of coming up with a long term plan.

The next day I was still overwhelmed with the news and just wanted some sense of normalcy back . I was driving to work and whispered a simple prayer. I prayed this was too much for me to figure out and I needed help. The next hour was amazing. I had whispered my prayer and made a mental decision to walk away from the problem until I had more information. I was sitting at a client site and talking with them when my cell phone rang. I saw it was my insurance agent, so I let it go to voice mail. I had expected him to say he had another insurance option and this was how much it was going to cost. When I listened to the message, I was overwhelmed with relief. He actually had called me with a way to work with my current insurance policy so it would cover the drug. You had to put additional effort in, but the reward was the copay would be the same as other drugs covered under my plan. Talk about the weight of the world being lifted off my shoulders. Finally the long struggle over being diagnosed with MS was over, and I had a treatment plan I could afford.

It is these moments when you go; "Wow, I am not alone." It is a wonderful feeling and brings into focus how amazing this world is. It also shows how subtle and powerful prayer can be. My agent was trying to find an option and happened to stumble across a way to bill my insurance on their website. So, the question becomes did he just happen across it and there was no guidance, or was there guidance and we just need to take a moment to recognize it and appreciate it. For me, I am saying God is alive and well in Reidsville, NC.

Father's Day

Fathers come in many shapes, sizes and in relationships. We have the physical father, the Heavenly Father, step-father, foster father and the person in your life who you feel that bond with just because of who they are.

This Father's Day is no different for me. I take a moment and think of my father who passed when I was 12, and then the other men in my life who have had a profound impact on the man I have become. This is my wish as well. Not so much to have a child of my own, the world is too complicated a place right now for that, but to provide guidance, hope and encouragement to others as they go through this life.

It is the small things that can touch us on a day like today, and nothing so much as an unexpected thank-you and warm wish. Our Heavenly Father always has a way of those messages coming through at just the right moment. Today was one of those for us. We got a message from a young man we met only once, and for a brief time while in Haiti. He has no reason to try to keep in touch with us, but just did out of the blue to say hello and how much our offer of friendship meant to him and continues to mean to him.

So take a moment today not only to remember our fathers, but those others who have had a impact on our lives. Happy Father's Day.

Liberty and Justice for All

Enough said. This is from the Newseum in DC

Bing, what is in a name.

I was very saddened to see the retirement of Search and Give from Microsoft this month. It was a useful way to raise money for your charity and reached across all age groups. A group of us had been able to raise money for Hearts with Haiti by just doing simple web searches. It can all add up. I spoke with my Microsoft rep and plans are in the wings for a similar program, but not target date as of yet. I did find another way to raise money through the web and it is through Club Bing. Bing is Microsoft's new name for the Live Search engine. Big plans, commercials, etc. and it is going to change the way we all do online searches. We have all heard that before and then go back to Google. If you want to see it, go to www.bing.com and you can move your mouse over the image, and see popups, etc. Nice, but not a replacement for Search and Give.

Club Bing is a little bit different. It is Live Club re-branded. Club Bing is an extention of Bing in so much as it is a game portal versus just a search engine. All you need is a free Live ID and sign up for free to Club Bing. Then you can play free games from their list. Sounds pretty good so far huh, free and play games. The beauty lies in what you do with the tickets you earn. You can choose to donate them to a charity or public school. I was very excited and immediately went to sending tickets to Hearts with Haiti. I was disappointed to not find Hearts with Haiti in the list powered by GuideStar. So I went to GuideStars' website, typed in Hearts with Haiti and they showed up. Went back to Bing, still no luck. The long and short of this is Microsoft is working out the kinks as they go live and launch commercials, etc. I would still sign up as it is free and playing a game of Chicktionary helps lighten up the day. When you are done, donate the tickets to your charity or school. I will continue to look for Hearts with Haiti and also have my Microsoft rep on the case and when they appear in the list I will let everyone know.

Star Light, Star Bright

Star light, star bright, the first star I see tonight.... I have fond childhood memories of sitting outside in the NH night air with my father saying this childhood rhyme. Star light, star bright. First star I see tonight. I wish I may I wish I might have this wish I wish tonight.

It has been a bit since I did any posts, so I am continuing to get back into the swing of things. The last few weeks have been spent doing behind the scenes stuff, including being picked up by the Fat Cat, Ltd in Oak Ridge, NC.

I needed to get back behind the lens after such a long drought, so I grabbed my camera and went out into our backyard. I had some real fun just shooting random shots while slowing down and absorbing the sights and sounds around me. Once I got done roaming, I took a moment to do some staged still life. Traditionally I don't do these type of shots as they are posed and not as organic, but to my surprise I found out something I had not realized. When you get REALLY up close to a sand dollar, they have a little star in the center. My macro lens picked it up as seen in the image in nice detail.

So for me these sand dollars mean a number of different things, the beach, warm salty air, ice cream, (mmm everything reminds me of ice cream) and the amazing beauty to be captured in the smallest of items.

Pride

We just went to a Sunday School class offered at our church using Andy Griffith shows as Biblical teaching tools. At first I was a bit skeptical, but after this first class I am not so sure anymore. Today's lesson was on pride. As I now digest what was talked about, I am taking a long hard look at my own life and the perceptions I put out to others. I think the biggest thing striking me is what others may take away from my attempts to help the St. Joseph's Family in Haiti.

I am doing everything I can to drum up attention to these amazing people, but am I doing it in a way that is appropriate? I looked at my headings on the very first page when you come to our website. I examined what my first impression was when putting myself out to the world. It was quite humbling. I am saying look at me, I give 40% of the sales price to charity. While this is my goal, it may not be shared by everyone. To someone who doesn't know me, I could be coming across as quite arrogant or aggressive. The thought which kept resurfacing was I was saying to visitors, I am doing this why aren't you? And honestly, this approach hasn't helped me accomplish my goal.

So, as I reexamine my message, I am going to change it to one more inviting. One asking for assistance in my passion and not one thrusting my own perceived piety in the face of others. I now will ask,"Help us make a difference in the lives of children in Haiti." a message I so deeply want to do.

A message from Michael Geilenfeld during Easter

Below is an email I got from Michael. It talks about a very moving service they perform each year. I had an opportunity to chat with Renee before the service and could sense how much she was looking forward to it. From looking at the picture she took, I can understand why.

Subject: Inspired - Humbled - Moved with Deep Emotion - This is servanthood

Jesus shows us how to love and serve…………

In this photo Dad is washing his caregivers feet with the help of KC. What more do we need to see in order to be moved and moving in Jesus?

Dr. Chad Johnson

Pastor for Discipleship

Abiding Hope Lutheran Church

Littleton, CO 80127

303-972-1283

Easter

As we reach the culmination of Holy Week on Sunday, let us all take a moment and really reflect on what it all means. Sacrifice by one for all.

I have been following a number of stories over the week on various blogs and news sites I read. The one commonality I find disturbing is everyone has to be exclusively right with no room for compromise. God did not send Jesus, and Jesus did not accept his role for any particular group to call themselves right, or the only ones in the know. They performed these miraculous acts for all of us. The dogma of the human race to only seek a winner instead of acceptance of all points of view is a philosophy we need to outgrow. If we don't I fear we are doomed to face the fate of so many of our ancestors over history. A continuing struggle to fight, kill, stigmatize and persecute others all in the name of God.

I feel at this time more than any other in the past few years we can almost start to feel hope again. Hope is a powerful thing and one which enables us to try to see beyond our own front door and venture into the door of another.

http://www.heirloomcrafters.com/gallery/easter.html

Wonder

It has been a long winter and I am ready for the renewal and wonder of spring to begin. It has been a long winter, not in terms of temperature, but of loss. My brother and I lost our Mother to Ovarian Cancer around Valentine's Day, and amidst all of it we had to deal with unnecessary family drama. But with all loss comes a opportunity for new hope. We are closer as a result.

We have added two new members to our family, Boozer and Bear. A Black Lab and a Giant Schnauzer. They are quite the pair and I will post pictures of them, along with their biggest nemsis, the lufa dog, later.

We also are launching a new campaign to assist displaced workers by providing them and opportunity to enter a drawing for 5 free Professional Thank You Cards.

So as I leave Winter and it's long sleep, I enter Spring with it's promise of new life and hope with a sense of calm and wonder at things to come.

Closet Full of Prayers

Even though our time at St. Joseph's Home for Boys was shorter than we planned. A lot was crammed into a very small length of time. I remember that time with fond memories, not only for what we experienced at Wings, but also what we did and could continue to experience in Haiti.

Every morning and evening the boys at St. Joseph's have a worship service. We were allowed to be with them and the image here is a picture of the closet their Bibles are stored in. The service was very moving despite the fact I could only understand a small portion of it. But as with moments in our lives, words cannot capture the emotion. This is one of those times. While in the room you felt this tremendous feeling of peace, despite the chaos all around you. As you looked into the boys' eyes you could see hope and gratitude. The service we attended was a service to give thanks. Where each boy would speak of something they saw, experienced or heard of and for which they were thankful. I heard thanks for things we take for granted. The gratitude of one person helping another. The fact no one in the house was seriously affected by the riots. The fact they had food, clothing and a home where people cared for them.

While I may have strong feelings about what I find wrong in religion, I certainly could not doubt the presence of God or his purpose after this service. It also made all the things we squabble about seem insignificant, and that is a feeling I carry with me still. I see all the turmoil over the literal interpretations of the Bible. Who is right and who is wrong, which social class is damned to hell and which is not. All these seem like a tremendous waste of our time when you witness the tremendous out pouring of caring by people who have nothing, and as a result do not judge. Blessed are the poor, for they shall inherit the earth.

http://www.heirloomcrafters.com/gallery/closetfullofprayers.html

The Unkown

While in Charleston, we were walking through the historic district following our noses to the smell of what turned out to be a Starbucks. Just before we entered, I happened to see this alley way lit up and the other end swallowed up by the darkness. The light and shadows seemed to draw you in, if nothing more than out of curiosity at what lie at the end in that dark chasm.

It appears not only the name, but the interest is felt by a lot of us. I took this image on a show I did over the fall and several people picked it up and expressed the same feeling. The also thought the name "The Unknown" was an accurate description.

Does it sum up a lot of the current emotions in our society, who knows, but on a basic level I think we all wish to avoid if possible those unknown things in our lives.

http://www.heirloomcrafters.com/gallery/theunknown.html

Moonlight

It has been brutally cold here the last few days, and I decided this image was one way to feel a little warmer.

It was a deliciously warm spring day when this shot caught my eye. I was sitting beside the pool and looked back at the batchelor buttons gracing the left side of the yard. I had stuck this yard art in the middle of where I had planted all those seeds hoping the blue in the globe would compliment the flowers.

I was not disappointed. I came upon this spot as I do others in the yard; I just roam around late in the afternoon. I will pick various parts of the yard and look around soaking up the sights and sounds of the day. Late day light is my favorite light. It is similar to the story of the Three Bears, not to bright, not to dark. This day the late afternoon light caused all the blue's in this image to glow and the greens to look silky smooth. It is one of my favorites along with the image titled Decisions. They both came out as originally framed in my head and more.

I hope you enjoy Moonlight as much as I do, and may it warm your heart and be a reminder that spring is close at hand.

http://www.heirloomcrafters.com/gallery/moonlight.html

Hand up Not Hand out

I was doing random shots from the roof at St. Joseph's and did not see through the view finder what was captured. The intended focal point of the image was the older gentleman in his chair being framed by the bars. I was interested in it for the paradox; at 21 the average Haitian is considered middle aged, so to see a man with grey hair stuck out.

After returning home, I began culling through the hundreds of images we took and came to this one. At first I thought it had turned out as planned, but as I looked closer, I realized not only had I captured the original shot, but one with even more symbolism. Above the older man is a young boy poking his head through the railing. This one image shows so many paradoxes occurring in Haiti. The young and the old, fear and hope, entrapment and freedom. All within everyone's grasp.

I had not decided until just this week to post the image to the blog. What triggered my decision was an article published in the local newspaper. It was a sports article with a heart warming story of a young man running a marathon for Haiti. At the tender age of 17 he realized the great need for a people called the poorest in the Western Hemisphere. It was good to see someone so young recognizing Haiti's great need. But even someone as young as this runner realized they do not want a hand out of their poverty, but a hand up.

http://www.heirloomcrafters.com/gallery/handupnothandout.html

Joe Cool

During our time at Wings of Hope, we had brought a number of items from our friends both inside and outside of the church. One of those causing us to scratch our heads was a bag of painter caps. We looked at them and decided, why not, who are we to judge if there was a need. The need ended up being something fun. During the food riots no one was coming or going. The children's daily routine at Wings was distrupted as there were no classes. On one of our last days, KC and Renee decided to give out a hat to one of the children. Then the flood gates opened, everyone had to have one. Children were pushing the wheel chair bound children up the ramp so each of them could recieve a hat. Pierre, shown here, is very autistic. When he recieved his hat, he looked at it, put it on and then pulled out the sunglasses you see him wearing. He was silently proud to sit and just enjoy being in style. This story has been one of our favorite stories as we talk to people about our time in Haiti and I am sure you can see why.

To learn more about Pierre

http://www.heirloomcrafters.com/gallery/joecool.html

Hatteras

On one of our trips to the outer banks, we did a whirl wind lighthouse tour. I enjoy light houses as much as everyone else and was busily taking shots of the iconic Hatteras light house. Peter suggested I try a shot different from anyone elses we had seen. So I laid down on the steps, much to the attendants surprise, and shot this up from the ground. I had to agree with Peter, it turned out pretty good.

http://www.heirloomcrafters.com/gallery/hatteras.html

American Living

I took this image in Key West before we embarked on our journey to Haiti. Key West was a blast, and I wish we had been able to stay longer. Our next trip I am sure we wil. We were walking around the Hemingway house and I saw this life preserver hanging over the front door. To me this image sums up everything America can be to people both inside and outside our borders. It is the change we can believe in and create ourselves. The timeless act of helping someone in need, whether it be as simple as a birthday card, or as involved as a mission trip. We are the the only ones who can bring about change, and it is amazing what can unfold around if we act. I don't pretend to be all that when it comes to helping others, but I try to look beyond myself and see what is out there. Sometimes I succeed and a lot of times I miss out, but that is how change happens. The little things, not the big things can bring about a ripple to cause the tides around us to change.

http://www.heirloomcrafters.com/gallery/americanliving.html

Yorktown

Inauguration Day 2009, what a day of hope and promise for not only the people of the United States, but for all people who pray for change. Pictured here is a shot of the USS Yorktown anchored in Charleston, SC. I thought it an appropriate image today as it shows both strength and delicacy. The full weight of the ship is supported on this thin line of metal. A powerful image as all of us have our hopes resting on the shoulders of one man. Let us all hope and pray for President Obama as he also tries to rise up above our troubles on the thin line of hope we all have.

"We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness." President Barack Obama January, 2oth 2009

http://www.heirloomcrafters.com/gallery/yorktown.html